Every now and then, I come across something that really gets me. For some reason tonight it was the liquidation notice for an insulin plant.
It's just stunning sometimes for me to stop and think about where these tiny vials that keep me alive come from.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Friday, January 04, 2008
Oy
Wow, where do I start? Well, yesterday I got a very strange headache. It came on like immediately, and the pain was on top of my head. I got up to take something for it because it was really bad, but when I opened the cabinet, a can flew out and landed on my toe - the same toe I broke in 1994 that never healed right. I honestly can't tell if it's broken because it's always been painful to manipulate and every time I stubbed it, it hurt for days. It felt like the first time, though! Anyway, they don't really do anything for broken toes, and I have tape. I'm just glad I can hobble around on my foot. Those first few hours where I couldn't were not fun because I can't hop.
New Years Eve, our hot water heater stopped working. I guess it must really be considered an emergency, because the landlady got someone to come in and replace it on the 2nd, which is some kind of record. I didn't realize I would have to empty most of the pantry so that the contractor could get at the water heater until 30 minutes before he was supposed to show up. No problem, right? He showed up 30 minutes early. So there I was trying to empty the pantry really fast while he made fun of me for not realizing. What annoyed me about that is that I'm disabled and I had to stop in the middle to suck down some juice because inevitably I'd go low from all that. Oh, and I asked him twice if I needed to remove the shelf above the water heater, and he scoffingly assured me he had "plenty of room." Guess what's covered in scorch marks from the blowtorch now? Oh, and he wrote on the heater that he installed it January 2007. Maybe some people shouldn't make fun...
On the brighter side, I can almost chew things now. The company that laid my husband off called and asked if he wanted to take a six month contract, working day shift, so he accepted that. He's still working through a temp agency, so no benefits, and it's at the same company, so he's still looking for something else, but it's better than nothing. Day shift is also better because then I see him during the week.
For some reason my pancreas has been working overtime since the surgery. My basal went from 11.5U to 8.5U. My insulin-to-carb ratio went from 1:8 to 1:11. I don't know how long it will last, but I'm not complaining.
New Years Eve, our hot water heater stopped working. I guess it must really be considered an emergency, because the landlady got someone to come in and replace it on the 2nd, which is some kind of record. I didn't realize I would have to empty most of the pantry so that the contractor could get at the water heater until 30 minutes before he was supposed to show up. No problem, right? He showed up 30 minutes early. So there I was trying to empty the pantry really fast while he made fun of me for not realizing. What annoyed me about that is that I'm disabled and I had to stop in the middle to suck down some juice because inevitably I'd go low from all that. Oh, and I asked him twice if I needed to remove the shelf above the water heater, and he scoffingly assured me he had "plenty of room." Guess what's covered in scorch marks from the blowtorch now? Oh, and he wrote on the heater that he installed it January 2007. Maybe some people shouldn't make fun...
On the brighter side, I can almost chew things now. The company that laid my husband off called and asked if he wanted to take a six month contract, working day shift, so he accepted that. He's still working through a temp agency, so no benefits, and it's at the same company, so he's still looking for something else, but it's better than nothing. Day shift is also better because then I see him during the week.
For some reason my pancreas has been working overtime since the surgery. My basal went from 11.5U to 8.5U. My insulin-to-carb ratio went from 1:8 to 1:11. I don't know how long it will last, but I'm not complaining.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
My night at the ER
16 December 2007 Day 69
Originally uploaded by lilituc.
I was doing so well, and then on Sunday afternoon, I started vomiting. Nothing had changed, so it was pretty odd. I didn't have ketones and my bg was fine. My husband called the doctor on call - again Dr. S. This time he made Dr. S listen to my entire medical chart and wouldn't let him talk over him. Dr. S said it was no big deal and he'd call in a suppository. He also said to stop taking all the medications I'd been prescribed. He said we could go to the ER if we wanted to, but made it sound like we were being overly paranoid and there was no point. I'm not going to tell you what we call Dr. S in private!
Normally I'd wait longer than two hours to go the ER, but it was already 5 pm and I hate waiting all night long and not being able to sleep, so I figured we might as well go right then. We got to the ER just after 6 and I didn't get triaged until 7:15. To be fair, they had their hands full. There was a woman in her early 30s with severe abdominal pain, a two-year-old who'd had explosive diarrhea for several days, and an elderly woman with a possible broken hip. Actually, I can say "probable" after observing her for 20 minutes. So they triaged me and then I didn't get seen until 9:30. I had to keep getting up to vomit while I was waiting.
By the time they saw me, I had moderate ketones and was pretty dehydrated. They didn't check until after they'd given me one bag, so they kind of went overboard and took a bag right out of the fridge. I warned them cold fluids would probably make me nauseated (because of another medical condition), but they were all, "you need fluids" and wouldn't hear it. The weird part was another nurse randomly came in, walked over to me, taped the line up and down my arm twice, then left. So I was a million times colder. In retrospect, I should have just pulled off the tape, but I was kind of confused at the time. Anyway, I got really nauseated.
That's when they went into overdrive! I thought it was odd they thought that was such an emergency. The doctor came running in and the nurse and then they gave me Phenergan and I was out. So I didn't get to ask the doctor the questions I had or get a copy of my labwork. I was discharged around midnight.
For those of you who work in the healthcare field...what do you think of this - it's the best ER in town, but they don't have private rooms. The patient on the other side of the curtain was a homeless veteran who called 911 because he wanted to commit suicide, and while I was getting my fluids we basically overheard everything. The poor guy.
I had a surreal moment the next morning when Dr. S's nurse called to find out what happened. I explained to her about what had happened, but she didn't seem to grasp that diabetic + ketones + dehydration = super bad. Also, when I told her the Phenergan knocked me out, she actually said, "No, honey, you're thinking of the painkiller. Phenergan isn't sedating. Does your tummy still hurt?" So glad I didn't get Dr. S as my surgeon!
They never figured out why I was vomiting. I've been okay since then in that I've been progressing normally.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Oy
Well, I had the surgery yesterday morning. The surgeon said she'd talked to my doctor and they thought it would be better if they didn't sedate me. I wonder which one said that; I can't think of why they would. Still, I'd rather not be sedated.
They had trouble getting the IV in. Not too surprising since they decided not to use a heplock because I'm allergic to Teflon. They didn't have one of those brace things so they ended up strapping my arm to a board they found somewhere. I forget to tell them I'm allergic to heart monitor contacts, but they never mentioned they were going to be using them, either. Since I'd had 50mg of benadryl before the surgery, the reaction wasn't too bad. So the surgery mostly went well, although the anesthetic started to wear off at like #2. I was not upset, because that's usually what happens to me. It all went pretty fast, anyway.
When I got home I was pretty dehydrated, but I couldn't drink anything because we were supposed to try to stop the bleeding. You have to bite down hard on some gauze for 30 minutes, then make sure it's stopped and repeat if necessary. Well, we did this for about five hours and it didn't stop, even after we tried tea bags like they suggested. So, my husband called the office and got the doctor on call. It was one of the other surgeons, Dr. S. Well, Dr. S informed him that it was only bleeding because I wasn't biting down on the gauze right because I was groggy after the surgery. So basically, we were doing it wrong. He wouldn't listen to what my husband was telling him at all. That's interesting, because I wasn't groggy at all, and we weren't doing it wrong. I'm glad I didn't get that surgeon! Anyway, we tried the gauze again (by this point we'd run out of their gauze and had to use our own) and it mostly stopped, so I was able to eat some things and get my ketones down. It did start bleeding again three times that night, though, even though I wasn't doing anything when it happened. Nothing was even moving in my mouth; I was just sitting there and it started. And yes, I am being super careful. So I may end up with dry socket even though I followed all the instructions.
I was in a lot of pain the first day, when I couldn't take the painkiller right away due to the bleeding not stopping. It went right up to 9. I think some people would call it 10, but I've had 10 before. The odd thing is that Darvocet was abused in the 70s, but it doesn't make me feel high at all. It does work on the pain, which is great, but that's it. I'm not even sleepy. The pain was only as bad this morning as it is when I normally wake up, so like a 5 or a 6, but now it does hurt despite the painkiller, probably because of the swelling. I have to apply ice packs for the first 36 hours. The swelling should go down on day 3. It takes about a month to heal completely.
I'm supposed to eat a lot of protein (which makes sense because my body is making new tissue), so I've been having Boost Glucose Control, Trader Joe's nonfat Greek yogurt cups, Special K protein water, and tofu pudding. I do have some pureed soups, but they're higher in carbs and much lower in protein. It's been hard enough keeping my bg down. I'm at 175% basal and 190% bolus from normal.
I am trying to get some rest, but I'm not even tired. Certainly not what I would have expected!
They had trouble getting the IV in. Not too surprising since they decided not to use a heplock because I'm allergic to Teflon. They didn't have one of those brace things so they ended up strapping my arm to a board they found somewhere. I forget to tell them I'm allergic to heart monitor contacts, but they never mentioned they were going to be using them, either. Since I'd had 50mg of benadryl before the surgery, the reaction wasn't too bad. So the surgery mostly went well, although the anesthetic started to wear off at like #2. I was not upset, because that's usually what happens to me. It all went pretty fast, anyway.
When I got home I was pretty dehydrated, but I couldn't drink anything because we were supposed to try to stop the bleeding. You have to bite down hard on some gauze for 30 minutes, then make sure it's stopped and repeat if necessary. Well, we did this for about five hours and it didn't stop, even after we tried tea bags like they suggested. So, my husband called the office and got the doctor on call. It was one of the other surgeons, Dr. S. Well, Dr. S informed him that it was only bleeding because I wasn't biting down on the gauze right because I was groggy after the surgery. So basically, we were doing it wrong. He wouldn't listen to what my husband was telling him at all. That's interesting, because I wasn't groggy at all, and we weren't doing it wrong. I'm glad I didn't get that surgeon! Anyway, we tried the gauze again (by this point we'd run out of their gauze and had to use our own) and it mostly stopped, so I was able to eat some things and get my ketones down. It did start bleeding again three times that night, though, even though I wasn't doing anything when it happened. Nothing was even moving in my mouth; I was just sitting there and it started. And yes, I am being super careful. So I may end up with dry socket even though I followed all the instructions.
I was in a lot of pain the first day, when I couldn't take the painkiller right away due to the bleeding not stopping. It went right up to 9. I think some people would call it 10, but I've had 10 before. The odd thing is that Darvocet was abused in the 70s, but it doesn't make me feel high at all. It does work on the pain, which is great, but that's it. I'm not even sleepy. The pain was only as bad this morning as it is when I normally wake up, so like a 5 or a 6, but now it does hurt despite the painkiller, probably because of the swelling. I have to apply ice packs for the first 36 hours. The swelling should go down on day 3. It takes about a month to heal completely.
I'm supposed to eat a lot of protein (which makes sense because my body is making new tissue), so I've been having Boost Glucose Control, Trader Joe's nonfat Greek yogurt cups, Special K protein water, and tofu pudding. I do have some pureed soups, but they're higher in carbs and much lower in protein. It's been hard enough keeping my bg down. I'm at 175% basal and 190% bolus from normal.
I am trying to get some rest, but I'm not even tired. Certainly not what I would have expected!
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Constant vigilance!
Something I read on Amy's blog reminded me of this. Last year, right after we moved back to Seattle, we went to a local restaurant famed for its homemade breakfasts. I tested my bg while looking over the menu - it was in the 80s. I ordered coffee and noticed there was a cream container on the table. I asked the waitress if it was real cream, and she said, "yes, it is." Our housemate also got coffee, and takes it with cream. So we both had some coffee with cream. Our food took quite awhile to arrive. After about 30 minutes of waiting, I started to feel odd, so I tested again. My bg was almost 140.
I was confused for a minute, then realized I'd been drinking the coffee. I got out my diastix, tested the coffee, and it was right in the middle of the range. I tested it with my meter: same thing. It hadn't tasted any different than half-and-half, but it was pretty diluted in the coffee. When the waitress came back, I asked her again, "are you sure this is real cream?" She said, "yes." I said, "it's important to know because we're both diabetic, so are you absolutely certain it's real cream?" She said, "yes, it's real cream." I showed her the strip, explained it and said, "well, this container is full of sugar, so can we get a new one?" (I assumed that someone had poured sugar into it). Know what the waitress said then?
"It's nondairy creamer. We don't serve cream here."
Okay, so as it turns out, this restaurant only has nondairy creamer (loaded with sugar), 2%, skim milk, and margarine, presumably for "health" reasons. The food was actually really good (although some butter would have been nice), but we've never been back. I mean, she lied! Repeatedly! I can't understand why someone would do that. I've known people who are allergic to nondairy creamer. Anyway, what I learned was that creamer isn't a free food, so be careful out there!
I was confused for a minute, then realized I'd been drinking the coffee. I got out my diastix, tested the coffee, and it was right in the middle of the range. I tested it with my meter: same thing. It hadn't tasted any different than half-and-half, but it was pretty diluted in the coffee. When the waitress came back, I asked her again, "are you sure this is real cream?" She said, "yes." I said, "it's important to know because we're both diabetic, so are you absolutely certain it's real cream?" She said, "yes, it's real cream." I showed her the strip, explained it and said, "well, this container is full of sugar, so can we get a new one?" (I assumed that someone had poured sugar into it). Know what the waitress said then?
"It's nondairy creamer. We don't serve cream here."
Okay, so as it turns out, this restaurant only has nondairy creamer (loaded with sugar), 2%, skim milk, and margarine, presumably for "health" reasons. The food was actually really good (although some butter would have been nice), but we've never been back. I mean, she lied! Repeatedly! I can't understand why someone would do that. I've known people who are allergic to nondairy creamer. Anyway, what I learned was that creamer isn't a free food, so be careful out there!
Friday, December 07, 2007
Surgery
Well, the consultation was interesting. They did panoramic x-rays, which I like because the small ones are painful and don't fit in my mouth. The big x-rays were much clearer. Disturbingly clearer. the nurse and I both said, "oh no" when we saw them. Basically, I have bone loss and my teeth are really impacted. Then, the oral surgeon came in. She's from the former Soviet Union and very direct, with no sugarcoating. She kept asking me questions like she was testing me (she's a professor), and I guess I passed. She asked me how I would treat my diabetes for the surgery. I said I would reduce my basal by 50% and not eat anything for 8 hours, which was apparently the answer she was looking for. That was that, too; she didn't want to discuss it further. I thought she was great!
Since my wisdom teeth are right on the nerves, I have to get a CT scan next week. I will also need to have a bone graft. She said she usually doesn't do it in diabetics due to poor outcomes, but I showed her my A1c (LOL). Both the oral surgeon and the nurse told me there is a significant chance I may lose two back molars. I'm not that upset about it, because one is useless already and the other isn't very useful, either, being only partially erupted. (I don't have enough room in my mouth for my teeth already.) I'd be more worried about potential complications. Also, I have to have general, which I hate, but after seeing the x-rays I didn't really argue.
The doctor agreed that I need to take my other medication (asthma, beta blocker) before the surgery, although most people don't. They also want me to take Benadryl before, since I'm allergic to Teflon and so many other things. It may also help with the painkiller. I took Vicodin once and vomited for 24 hours, so I can't have anything similar and even what they're giving me (Darvocet) may cause me to react. Some people with my reaction don't have it if they take the medication with Benadryl. I really hope it works, because the backup plan is 600mg of ibuprofen, which I already know does barely anything for me. When people who never take painkillers tell me they needed the Vicodin for this, well...
As it turns out, I will need to have surgery again next year for a different problem. They said they could do it with only local, though. Unfortunately, that surgery is mostly not covered by my dental insurance. This one is really complicated, though, so it's a lot more than we thought. So each of the surgeries will cost about...27% of an insulin pump. They're going to make a good show of billing my health insurance, but it's unlikely they will cover it, since as we all know, your mouth isn't part of your body. ;(
Since my wisdom teeth are right on the nerves, I have to get a CT scan next week. I will also need to have a bone graft. She said she usually doesn't do it in diabetics due to poor outcomes, but I showed her my A1c (LOL). Both the oral surgeon and the nurse told me there is a significant chance I may lose two back molars. I'm not that upset about it, because one is useless already and the other isn't very useful, either, being only partially erupted. (I don't have enough room in my mouth for my teeth already.) I'd be more worried about potential complications. Also, I have to have general, which I hate, but after seeing the x-rays I didn't really argue.
The doctor agreed that I need to take my other medication (asthma, beta blocker) before the surgery, although most people don't. They also want me to take Benadryl before, since I'm allergic to Teflon and so many other things. It may also help with the painkiller. I took Vicodin once and vomited for 24 hours, so I can't have anything similar and even what they're giving me (Darvocet) may cause me to react. Some people with my reaction don't have it if they take the medication with Benadryl. I really hope it works, because the backup plan is 600mg of ibuprofen, which I already know does barely anything for me. When people who never take painkillers tell me they needed the Vicodin for this, well...
As it turns out, I will need to have surgery again next year for a different problem. They said they could do it with only local, though. Unfortunately, that surgery is mostly not covered by my dental insurance. This one is really complicated, though, so it's a lot more than we thought. So each of the surgeries will cost about...27% of an insulin pump. They're going to make a good show of billing my health insurance, but it's unlikely they will cover it, since as we all know, your mouth isn't part of your body. ;(
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Numbers lie
I saw my endo yesterday. My cholesterol is still good, but slightly worse than last time so I suppose I'll have to look into that. My A1c is what it's been the whole time I've had it tested at this lab: insane. It's lower every time, too, despite my bg not changing. Now that we've kind of ruled out lab error, the only thing I can think of is that there's something weird going on with my hemoglobin.
Previously I had A1cs like 5.8%, when my postprandial numbers were a lot lower and I didn't spend a lot of time out of the normal range, although that was at a different lab. This last A1c was under 5 and I don't believe it could possibly be accurate. I've tested in the middle of the night to make sure I'm not having lows or anything. What do I think? I think my A1c should be somewhere between 5 and 6, closer to the middle. I mean, yes, it's definitely a great number, but I just don't think it's an insanely good number...for a nondiabetic. What I know about my bg doesn't support that.
So, today I'm going to have a consultation for oral surgery. That's right, my wisdom teeth are horribly impacted and they have to come out now. I haven't been able to chew in a week. I am not looking forward much to the consultation, where I have to explain not only about my insulin pump, but about the millions of other special conditions that will affect it. The surgery is already scheduled for next Friday. Eeek!
Previously I had A1cs like 5.8%, when my postprandial numbers were a lot lower and I didn't spend a lot of time out of the normal range, although that was at a different lab. This last A1c was under 5 and I don't believe it could possibly be accurate. I've tested in the middle of the night to make sure I'm not having lows or anything. What do I think? I think my A1c should be somewhere between 5 and 6, closer to the middle. I mean, yes, it's definitely a great number, but I just don't think it's an insanely good number...for a nondiabetic. What I know about my bg doesn't support that.
So, today I'm going to have a consultation for oral surgery. That's right, my wisdom teeth are horribly impacted and they have to come out now. I haven't been able to chew in a week. I am not looking forward much to the consultation, where I have to explain not only about my insulin pump, but about the millions of other special conditions that will affect it. The surgery is already scheduled for next Friday. Eeek!
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Well
I spent three days installing software on my husband's computer and updating Ubuntu on this machine. I thought the upgrade would help, but now it just runs a lot slower and a lot more things are broken. For example, now it won't open Word documents at all. Okay, then. I get burned out on these things pretty quickly, though. I did manage to get the camera software working on my husband's machine, but his display is not at all like my old one, so I can't tell what the photos look like. They look a lot different on this machine because the display is pretty wonky. So, I'm sorry if the photos look bad!
I have an appointment to see my endo next week. The receptionist called me today to tell me I'm supposed to get labs done tomorrow morning (I was going to anyway, but apparently they actually scheduled me for it and never mentioned it to me) and that they were fasting. Since I hate fasting tests, I know that I just had my cholesterol done six months ago. I asked her to check with the doctor because I'm pretty sure I don't need to have it done for another six months. (My cholesterol was really good, so I'm not sure why I'd need to get it done more often.) She said she would call me right back once she talked to the doctor. I was going to ask if she'd ordered the urine test when she called back, because I think I haven't had that one done in a year. Why they like to schedule the urine test when I'm fasting I don't know, but they tried to do that last time. It, um, doesn't work that way.
Well, it's 5:47 now. So do I fast (UGH), or just tell them to rewrite the lab slip tomorrow? I think she'll give me a hard time about that.
I have an appointment to see my endo next week. The receptionist called me today to tell me I'm supposed to get labs done tomorrow morning (I was going to anyway, but apparently they actually scheduled me for it and never mentioned it to me) and that they were fasting. Since I hate fasting tests, I know that I just had my cholesterol done six months ago. I asked her to check with the doctor because I'm pretty sure I don't need to have it done for another six months. (My cholesterol was really good, so I'm not sure why I'd need to get it done more often.) She said she would call me right back once she talked to the doctor. I was going to ask if she'd ordered the urine test when she called back, because I think I haven't had that one done in a year. Why they like to schedule the urine test when I'm fasting I don't know, but they tried to do that last time. It, um, doesn't work that way.
Well, it's 5:47 now. So do I fast (UGH), or just tell them to rewrite the lab slip tomorrow? I think she'll give me a hard time about that.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Meme
I've been tagged by Beth and Chrissie.
The Rules:
1. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself.
4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by posting a comment on their blog.
1. I've never been to Mexico, but I speak Mexican Spanish.
2. I don't have any tattoos and I don't smoke, but those are the things people seem to assume about me the most.
3. I wrote my first novel when I was in the first grade. It was over 100 pages, about a little girl who had adventures. I haven't written any novels in the past 15 years.
4. I didn't started getting carded until I was 19. It seems to have stopped a year ago, at 28. And I mean I got carded for R rated movies.
5. I love hobbit houses.
6. I have been a vegetarian for 13 years.
7. I was born in Minot, North Dakota. In my 20 years outside ND, I've only met one other person who was born there...but not on the base.
I tag anyone who hasn't been tagged yet!
The Rules:
1. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself.
4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by posting a comment on their blog.
1. I've never been to Mexico, but I speak Mexican Spanish.
2. I don't have any tattoos and I don't smoke, but those are the things people seem to assume about me the most.
3. I wrote my first novel when I was in the first grade. It was over 100 pages, about a little girl who had adventures. I haven't written any novels in the past 15 years.
4. I didn't started getting carded until I was 19. It seems to have stopped a year ago, at 28. And I mean I got carded for R rated movies.
5. I love hobbit houses.
6. I have been a vegetarian for 13 years.
7. I was born in Minot, North Dakota. In my 20 years outside ND, I've only met one other person who was born there...but not on the base.
I tag anyone who hasn't been tagged yet!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Okay then
Short story: my computer failed. I don't know when I'll be able to upload photos to the Diabetes 365 project again.
Long story: It's almost certainly a hardware problem. It's a laptop that's given me hardware trouble since the day I got it (March 2004). I've replaced the hard drive twice, the DVD drive once, the power cord twice, and the motherboard once. It just turned itself off, and now it will attempt to boot its little heart out, but it never gets past the "boot Windows in safe mode?" screen. The hard drive is ok and I can get the files, but I really need the software. We have a drive enclosure, but nothing can boot from that, and even better, the drive isn't a SATA drive. In many cases, just installing the software on another machine is not enough. My husband's machine used to have the software all set up, but it failed a month ago (it was even older than my laptop), and we can't get his new machine to boot from the old hard drive.
Since the problem with my machine isn't something easily accessible like the hard drive, the chances of repair are low. The case is so broken that if we opened it up all the way, it would be impossible for us (or a repair place) to get it back together again.
Bottom line: I need a "new" laptop. We haven't ever replaced this one partly because I need a matte screen, a trackpad, and Control keys on both sides of the keyboard. That rules out about 99% of laptops. The other part is, of course, that they're expensive.
Long story: It's almost certainly a hardware problem. It's a laptop that's given me hardware trouble since the day I got it (March 2004). I've replaced the hard drive twice, the DVD drive once, the power cord twice, and the motherboard once. It just turned itself off, and now it will attempt to boot its little heart out, but it never gets past the "boot Windows in safe mode?" screen. The hard drive is ok and I can get the files, but I really need the software. We have a drive enclosure, but nothing can boot from that, and even better, the drive isn't a SATA drive. In many cases, just installing the software on another machine is not enough. My husband's machine used to have the software all set up, but it failed a month ago (it was even older than my laptop), and we can't get his new machine to boot from the old hard drive.
Since the problem with my machine isn't something easily accessible like the hard drive, the chances of repair are low. The case is so broken that if we opened it up all the way, it would be impossible for us (or a repair place) to get it back together again.
Bottom line: I need a "new" laptop. We haven't ever replaced this one partly because I need a matte screen, a trackpad, and Control keys on both sides of the keyboard. That rules out about 99% of laptops. The other part is, of course, that they're expensive.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Goodnight
Chair thief
Originally uploaded by lilituc.
We got him from the Humane Society in Salt Lake City, Utah. There were four fuzzy kittens, all in a ball. They were half Siamese and half Norwegian Forest Cat. About two years ago, we learned about a cattery that had tried to cross the two for some reason. Coincidence? I doubt it. I wonder what ever happened to the other kittens.
Kechie loved corn chips, crackers, and playing with his bell on a string. He figured out how to open doors, turn off lights, and tell us what he wanted. Two days ago, he told us, "something is wrong." The vet examined him and said he thought it was probably cancer, on top of the chronic renal failure. We took him home and gave him painkiller. Last night, he laid down and didn't get up again.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Up Close and Personal
16 November 2007 Day 39
Originally uploaded by lilituc.
I will tell you a secret. When I feel something is wrong, I test my bg (75 cents) and test for ketones ($5.60) not because I think I will see something, but because I want it to be something that I can fix. I want it to be something manageable, like diabetes. Some of my health issues are only partly manageable. Right now one of them is managing me.
I lived with chronic pain from about 1994 to 2005. I say "lived" because the pain went from 5-6 to 1-2, not because I was not having any pain after that. Anyway, I got used to it. OTC pain medications didn't do anything for it, so I didn't bother taking them. I saw a long line of doctors who, I guess because of my circumstances, told me I was "hysterical," that it was "all in my head," acknowledged I was having the pain but said they couldn't do anything about it (?), who said I needed acupuncture (tried it), meditation (do it), needed to relax more (did it) and who sent me to specialists who were even nicer than that.
Now, they did find out that I have some very serious conditions, which they started treating in 2003. Most of the seemingly unrelated diagnoses I have are related to nerves. Please don't tell me to see a neurologist; I've seen two and neither was interested in actually diagnosing or helping me in any way. I've given up on that for now. I'm pretty convinced now that the real issue is that when they were passing out neurological systems, I drew the short, twisted straw and it is manifesting partly as some conditions that don't even have names right now.
I'm not sure why the pain (mostly) went away. It went down when I went on a beta blocker, and dropped significantly when I went on insulin, as did my chronic fatigue, but there's really no explanation in that, is there? Now, I did have bad days here and there where I was back up at 5 or 6 and an occasional 7; this happened mostly when the pressure changed outside.
These past two weeks, though, I've been firmly at 7. The first couple days, OTC medication worked, but not since then. I am not that active to begin with and now I'm having trouble with things like getting around my house. I can't seem to regain my lost skill: getting used to it. So, next week I have to go see my somewhat new Internal Med doctor, whom I have never chatted with about the chronic pain before, and tell him that the pain is back, and that no one ever found a reason for it. But what can he do? Give me a stronger painkiller? Will I have to take it forever? I am worried.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
15 November 2007 Day 38
15 November 2007 Day 38
Originally uploaded by lilituc.
Sometimes, being diabetic is an advantage. These syringes are for my cat. He's going to be getting injections of painkiller three times a day. The way that our vet reacts tells us that many people must be unwilling or unable to give their cats injections or subcutaneous fluids. We have no problem with it and find it's much easier for us and for the cat. They can't feel the injections.
The vet was also pleasantly surprised when he didn't need to explain to us why we should give a cat with renal failure an ACE inhibitor, a phosphate binder before meals, and Pepcid.
I didn't actually want the short needle, but the pharmacist was looking at *me* when she got them. They seem to be durable enough, though, whereas my syringes are not.
Friday, November 09, 2007
D-Blog Day
Happy D-Blog Day, everyone!
I would be nowhere without the Diabetes OC. I am a librarian, so I know how to do research. I've read tons of books on diabetes, endocrinology textbooks, read studies and journal articles. I've been told (with a straight face, no less) that I have more training in it than some doctors. Yet something was missing, and I kept hearing false notes. At first, I didn't understand. This is what doctors read. Aren't they supposed to be the experts? Isn't this information supposed to be correct? Forget my own diabetes; what I learned didn't really fit with my experience having a close friend with Type 1.
Recently, someone asked me for a good book on LADA. And, well, there is no good book on LADA. There is no book on LADA. There are only a few books that even mention LADA. So where is the book? It's in our heads. It's in our experiences. We are the experts. I sure hope that the medical establishment catches up, but until then we are out there, sharing our experiences.
Without the experiences of other diabetics, I wouldn't really know anything about diabetes.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Surviving
That is what I'm trying to do..survive. To somehow put my life back together. Some days it's like an emptiness, and other days it's like a punch in the gut. I try not to think about it, but it's hard, because every day it's something. I think, "I have to tell Jennifer about this great blog" or "what would Jennifer think of this story" or "Jennifer would laugh herself silly if I started saying, 'shalom out.'" All the other people have moved on, but for those of us who really knew her, well. A friend told me her mother died six years ago, but it's still the same for her.
So, I've been trying to keep busy. I've been going to classes again, and I like them a lot better than the first place I tried. I've been studying Hebrew and finding it much easier than I thought it would be (although keep in mind the vowels are marked and everything). I have no explanation for it.
Somehow diabetes fades into the background. I think it's like driving is for people - I'm not ignoring it; I just do it on autopilot. Test, bolus, eat, test, bolus, repeat. So far I haven't gotten any job offers, but I'm stepping up my search for a full time position (even though I really don't want to work full time) because my husband hasn't been able to find anything with benefits, and our COBRA runs out in January. And so life goes on, just like it always does.
So, I've been trying to keep busy. I've been going to classes again, and I like them a lot better than the first place I tried. I've been studying Hebrew and finding it much easier than I thought it would be (although keep in mind the vowels are marked and everything). I have no explanation for it.
Somehow diabetes fades into the background. I think it's like driving is for people - I'm not ignoring it; I just do it on autopilot. Test, bolus, eat, test, bolus, repeat. So far I haven't gotten any job offers, but I'm stepping up my search for a full time position (even though I really don't want to work full time) because my husband hasn't been able to find anything with benefits, and our COBRA runs out in January. And so life goes on, just like it always does.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Type WHAT?!
5 November 2007 Day 28
Originally uploaded by lilituc.
So I've actually seen the words coming out of her mouth on Inside the Actors Studio. It's not better than what was reported; it's worse!
Halle: I had no understanding of what diabetes was. I instantly thought I was going to die, because I heard, "disease" and "okay, after disease there must be death." And I got a very quick education about what diabetes was, and I realize that I probably had it for most of my childhood, but when you're diabetic, nothing hurts.
James Lipton: Is this Type 1?
Halle: It is really Type 1, but classified now as Type 2 because I'm no longer insulin dependent. I was for awhile, and I've managed to wean myself off of insulin, so now I like to put myself in the Type 2 category.
James Lipton: You control it with diet and with exercise?
Halle: Yes.
This is our JDRF spokesperson?
Monday, October 22, 2007
Stress
22 October 2007 Day 14
Originally uploaded by LilituC.
Both higher and lower than I expected. Huh? Well, it should have been much higher, but for the last hour I've been involved in a stupid argument on the internet. After I read a particularly ignorant statement about diabetes (low blood sugar, in fact), I felt I had to correct the misinformation. Still confused?
Well, one way I'm different than a typical diabetic is that stress lowers my blood sugar. Yes, lowers. So I was expecting a low number (and it's probably still dropping). This isn't as great as you might, think, though. Getting upset, crying, getting angry, and general stress all cause me to have lows.
My theory, which also would explain why my diabetes is so weird and my hypoglycemia before I was diabetic, is that my liver doesn't dump sugar when it's supposed to. I've never recovered from hypoglycemia without eating, no matter how long I wait.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
19 October 2007 Day 11
19 October 2007 Day 11
Originally uploaded by LilituC.
My cat takes B12 injections. When we picked up the supplies, I noticed that they charged us $15 for 12 insulin syringes. I said, "Wow, I could get a whole box of 100 syringes for less than this!" Everyone in the room stared at me.
Finally the tech said, "uh, are you in the health care industry?" I said, "no, I have Type 1 diabetes." After a long pause where she looked like she wanted to say something, she said, "me, too."
These syringes came from J., though, since the needles on mine are too small for cats. ~$1 for 10.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Pump bath
14 October 2007 Day 6
Originally uploaded by LilituC.
I don't remove my pump when I take a bath. The last time I did that, my blood sugar went up over 100 points. Yes, I know it doesn't make sense, but there you have it.
In some ways, this project is going to be challenging. I'd already taken a photo of my sharps container, a photo of the inside of my bag, and a photo of my diabetes cabinet. But what better to illustrate?
Saturday, October 13, 2007
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